OK, this is kind of fun.
Three Olives is running a new promotion/contest called, What’s Your O-Face? The stated aim of the contest is to find the model that they will use in an upcoming ad campaign for the various flavors of Three Olives. You use the ad creator gadget on their site to put your face in an ad for one of Three Olives’ flavors of vodka, and it will be uploaded to their site, where visitors will rate it among all the others. The finalists will be sent to New York for a big party and a photo shoot. The winner gets to star in the ad campaign, and ten grand for their efforts.
So one of you, my loyal readers, could be the next (O) face of Three Olives Vodka.
Oh, um, no. Not you.
Listen folks, by
you, I mean
you, one of the myriad of hot, model-quality men and women who read this blog. Not
you the other, um, people.
Regardless, everyone can have fun with this. I did. You can check out my set-the-supermodel-world-on-its-head entry here. Be sure to vote for me!
Of course, while we are talking about this contest, we should examine some of the elements. First off, let’s discuss the name.
Oh yes, Doug. Please do.
Tell us all about what the O in O-Face means….
Grant us your vast and omnipresent wisdom on the subject.
Actually, I thought I’d take this opportunity to post this scholarly (really) discussion of the origin of the word Orgasm, without which there is no understanding of the O-Face.
Now, I have gone to the great and onerous trouble of examining a lot of entries for this contest, so I can excerpt a few to give you a taste of what you can find.
First off, few of the pictures submitted really have much resemblance to true O-Faces. This first one really doesn’t qualify. In fact, I can’t for the life of me explain why I thought I ought to waste my bandwidth with it….
This one is much more like it:
And the pictures aren’t just women, either. Why can’t a guy win for best O-Face?
This is why:
Oh, after all this, I should say a word or two about vodka, and Three Olives Vodka in particular. Since this whole O-Face exercise is intended to get people talking about and linking to them, it’d be churlish to not comply….
Three Olives is one of a select few vodkas that I look for when approaching a bar to order my
sweet spot vodka. Vodka is a very simple beast, really. It should have no defining characteristics, beyond proof. The fewer taste elements plain vodka has, the cleaner it is. There is a direct relationship between cleanness and desirability, for me at least. There is an inverse relationship between expense and desirability. Three Olives dwells in the hammock, or
sweet spot, where these lines intersect, as shown here:
There are other vodkas in this sweet spot as well, some of which I’ve written about, some I haven’t, and some I’ve likely never heard of. The point is, Three Olives is reliably good, reliably affordable, and reliably available, so it’s a good choice for most bars out there. This may seem a bit like damning with faint praise, but it isn’t. It’s just illustrative of how things are with vodka. There are brands out there that cost twice what Three Olives does. In no way are they worth anything like twice as much. For most people, they won’t be worth a dime more if they can’t see the lable. Just facts, folks. A good vodka is definitely worth the added expense over a mediocre vodka, but a
super-premium vodka is not worth the added expense over a good one.
This illustrates the difficulty for the vodka industry these days. How do you distinguish your product, when it shouldn’t be distinguishable once it reaches a certain threshold of quality?
Three Olives’ answer is to focus on flavored vodkas. They offer the widest array of flavored/infused vodkas (14) I’ve seen on the market today, and I think that they are wise to go this way. Once you start flavoring vodkas, quality reappears in comparing your product to competitors. It puts both character and originality back into play, which, for a quality manufacturer, is fertile ground to gain market share. Also, a selection of these bottles makes for an attractive and eye-catching display either behind a bar or on a liquor store shelf. Some of their flavors would be of use to me (vanilla), some escape my understanding (triple shot espresso).
And for all you anti-vodka snobs out there, especially those who turn up their nose at flavored vodkas as beneath you, what are you going to do when Three Olives (or perhaps someone else small enough to take a gamble on being puckish) puts out a Juniper-Infused Vodka? Hmmm? Oh wait, don’t Beefeater and Bombay already do that?
You are not done, you know.
What? This is pretty damn long already, especially for a post about funny faces selling vodka.
Where is the recipe?
Oh come on. Do I have to? There is only one that’s appropriate for this post, you know.
I know. But it has to be done.
The International Guild of Boozeblogging’s latest standards circular (Required Elements for Certified Liquor Blog Entries, ed. 2009, rev.3) states that all product posts must include a recipe to establish the bona-fides of the blogger.
Now do it. You know the one.
Sigh. I suppose I should include a quick recipe here at the end. After all, it does seem appropriate for this post.
- 1 oz. Three Olives vodka
- 1.5 oz. Irish Creme liqueur
- 0.5 oz. coffee liqueur
Build in a shooter glass and swirl to combine. Be sure to leave enough time for recovery between consumption and your next class.
Finally, as a public service, I include a classic (and I do mean classic) instructional video to help you understand the nuances of constructing this drink.