‘Course, it be a matter o’ record that Cap’n Morgan turned his hand to governin’ Jamaica after his piratin’ days were done and it so happened that bein’ a landlubber was no obstacle to seeking a fight. He sued a pair o’ bookish types who’d published a particularly lurid account o’ his younger days, winning a retraction to the effect that “Morgan did not torture a fool on the rack, did not torture a rich Portuguese citizen, did not force a Negro to kill several prisoners and did not engage in “the hanging up of any person by the testicles.”"

Thanks be, o’ course, to me hearty Wayne Curtis and a fine, fine record of drinking, “And A Bottle Of Rum”.