The Bitterlypse I Did Not Even Know Was On

Angostura-Bitterlypse
When the Lamb opened the second seal, I heard the second living creature say, “Come!” Then another horse came out, a fiery red one. Its rider was given power to take peace from the earth and to make drinks bland. To him was given a huge, empty bottle.

Whew.

You don’t know how close it came to this, folks: The cocktail End Times.

Imagine there’s no bitters
It isn’t hard to do
Nothing to make Manhattans with
And no Pegus too

Shut up, John Lennon. It’s almost to much to bear.

It almost came to this though. The insurance company that owns the storied Angostura Bitters was nearly crushed by the global financial meltdown, and the factory that is our only source of this critical strategic resource was shuttered.
That’s right, no Angostura Bitters have been made for about a year. Contra Guy’s little ditty above, I can’t imagine being without my little bottle. It’s hard to believe that I had not heard about this before now. Perhaps they kept the news under wraps to avoid a final market meltdown or even rioting in the halls of Milk & Honey or Vessel.
Regardless, the old joke* has been put to the test, and supplies around the world are starting to get tight.
Where the hell is FEMA?!?

But be of good cheer, the Bitterlypse is in fact about over. In a government bailout that I am forced, due to selfish reasons, to support, Trinidad has rescued the owner of Angostura. The factory re-opened partially in October, with full production hoped to resume this month. Critical shipments of cocktail necessity will reach Northeast cities like Boston shortly. You can relax, citizens.

* Old Joke: Did you hear about the couple that’s been married so long, they are on their second bottle of bitters?

[UPDATE: Hello there, and welcome to visitors from The Edge of the American West!]

About the author

Doug

I am 48 years old, married with two young daughters. My interests are tennis, reading, computers, politics, and of course cocktails. I run a murder mystery party business that caters to both corporate and private events, Killing Time, murder consultants.

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