Tiki Timeout: A Whole Bucket of WRONG

So I was watching Modern Marvels on the History Channel last night. The Modern Marvel being profiled was Whiskey
Overall, it was a cool episode, but there was a two minute segment that had me wanting to nuke the entire network. Forgive me while I step away from Tiki stuff to prosecute one of the worst heresies I’ve ever witnessed against the Gospel of Whiskey.
There was only one drink recipe presented in the entire episode (at least that I saw), and it was of course for the Manhattan. So far, so good. If you are to present only one recipe, that would be it. But they let the rep from Canadian Club do the presenting….
Here’s the recipe this chuckle-head gave:


  • 4 parts Canadian Club Canadian whisky
  • 1 part Harvey’s Bristol Cream
  • 2 superball maraschino cherries

Pour ingredients into a rocks glass and stir. Garnish with cherries.

I’ll pause so you can leap from your seat, just like I did.
How awful is this recipe? Let’s review:

Canadian Club? Are you kidding me? I might be able to forgive this. After all, he’s a CC representative, what the hell is he supposed to do, suggest Knob Creek? And I actually made a Manhattan with CC myself over Christmas. My Mother-In-Law made me, so sue me. But it just gets worse from here.

Harvey’s Freaking Bristol Cream?!? Sherry? Cardinal? Pile some wood around a stake, please.

The producers damn well ought to expect this, in this case!

Where the hell are the bitters? I know there is a shortage on, but if you don’t have a couple of dashes on hand, may I suggest a Daiquiri? Make sure there’s a lot of oil on that wood, please, guys….

On the rocks? No. Just… no.

{This TIki TImeout presented in the spirit of Rule 4, and with a nod to the God of Cocktail Rule 4.}

About the author


I am 48 years old, married with two young daughters. My interests are tennis, reading, computers, politics, and of course cocktails. I run a murder mystery party business that caters to both corporate and private events, Killing Time, murder consultants.


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