International Talk Like a Pirate Day: I Be Interviewin’ Cap’n Slappy ‘n Ol’ Chumbucket Themselves. Arrrr!


Sunday, September 19th, 2010 is International Drink Talk Like a Pirate Day….

Avast, ye bilge rat!
EVERY September 19th be International Talk Like a Pirate Day!

Silence, ye scurvy knave, or ye’ll get a taste o’ me hook!

As I be sayin’, Sunday be ITLAPD. (It be harrrrrd to type with a hook and only one eye, so I be using the acronym from now on, aye?) But since September’s Mixology Monday (hosted aboard ship here) be comin’ right after, I be gettin’ a jump on the festivities, the better to ready ye and yer crew for the best parrrt o’ bein’ a pirate… the drinkin’!

{UPDATE: Ahoy, me hearties! A hearty pirate welcome be to ye seafarers who’ve washed up here from the Pirate Guys’ FaceBook Page! If ye be interested in more about Pirate drinking, here be a link to a page wi’ all ourrrr posts on pirate potables! Arrrrr.}

I stumbled down t’ the docks, and into the Bloody Bilge, as run-down ‘n dangerous a tavern as ye be likely to find. Ye’ll never be findin’ a more wretched hive o’ scum and vil…. er, anyway. I be findin’ there Ol’ Cumbucket hisself, and in two steps o’ a peg-legged jig, the good Cap’n Slappy be joinin’ us.
I fergot meself fer a moment and demanded the wench bring me a Pegu. She spat in me eye ‘n I smartly changed me order to a hearty Bumbo.
I heeled o’er to me interviewees and began me quest fer what be givin’ today’s greatest living pirates the sway in their steps.

Avast, me hearties! All good seafarin’ folk know, it be no mere sea chanty that all good crew and cap’n alike be liking a wee spot o’ drink at appropriate times… like day and night, fer starters. What manner of pirate’s courage be yer particular poisons?

Ahoy Dangerous Doug!
I can’t speak for Slappy (I tried it once and he gave me a savage beatin’ with his fists and forehead) so I’ll let him ennumber … enumm .. list the many libations he enjoys from time to time, and give ye mine.

It’s hard to beat a good ale. Yes, beer is the proof of the goodness of god and that he wants us to be happy. Me own personal favorite brew (and the official beer of International Talk Like a Pirate Day, at least until someone pays us to endorse *their* beer) is Rogue’s “Dead Guy Ale.” Delicious – and so good for you!

Arrr! I had a bottle of this brew just last night ’round the Poker table…. Arrrrgh. (That “arrrgh” be fer the poker, not the ale.)

The Fort Christian Brew Pub here on St. Croix makes a fine dark beer as well, with a great name – Blackbeard’s Ale.
And Arrogant Bastard Ale is a dandy drink, don’t ya know.

I, too, am more o’ a beer man. In fact, when purchasin’ me land lodgings I settled into a wee cottage just around the corner from a local brewhouse pub. “Calapooia Brewing Company” they call it and they make some splendid beers. In fact, the brewing warehouse wall sits at the back o’ me back yard and we’re still in negotiations for a direct line for me to tap into whenever the spirit moves (and as “spirits” go – mine is constantly movin’)

Arrrr! S’truth, why be building yer own Basement Bar (e’en a pirate basement bar!) when ye be havin’ a backyarrrrd bar already?

But tell me, me hearties, the pirate’s signature firewater be rum, what rums drink ye, and how do ye drink it?

Occasionally, I enjoy a nice rum drink. For a nice, neat rum – I go for “Pyrat Rum” – it’s a shame to mix it with anything – but occasionally I do – with Coca-Cola or, when I’m feelin’ me vitamin C deficiency, with some orange juice. Of course, I go heavy on the rum – light on the OJ. (As the evening wears on, sometimes I just wave the Orange Juice over the top o’ me full glass o’ rum and call it good.)

When I’m in need of a Vitamin C fix, I’ll drink me rum whilst looking at a picture of Ponce de Leon, who discovered Florida, where they grow so many of those oranges.

Havn’t had a cold in … well … days.

And what rum be goin’ wit’ yer oranges?

I usually drink Cruzan Rum’s Single Barrel – neat. I’m not a huge fan of dilutin’ me drinks with soda and water and fruit juices. I happen to live on the island where Cruzan is made (Cruzan means ‘from St. Croix.’ Although the people here are called Crucians. I still haven’t figured out why the difference.) So Cruzan s a might cheaper here than you’ll find it in the states.

Ol’ Chumbucket, matey. Yer voice be a bit, er, lubbery this fine marnin’. Um, not real, um, piratey….

YAARRRRRR!

Sorry.

I’m also not above experimenting (or bein’ experimented on) by new and dangerous concoctions o’ libational delights. But if’n it just be me – it’s probably just beer (good beer, mind ye – but beer nonetheless.)

Any other ways ye be likin’ to be wetting yer whistle, Ol’ Chumbucket?

I’ve also spent much of my life enjoying that marvelous concoction from the wonderfully creative people of Lynchburg, Tenn., where they know a thing or two about sippin’ whiskey.

Well, I’m sure ye fine mateys must be shovin’ off. I thank ye fer yer kind time and attention. Have ye any final words fer the pirates out there to be heedin’?

Aye! Remember kids! f you’re below the legal drinking age where ever you happen to be, don’t let me catch you partakin’ of the demon spirits! It’s bad for ye. Bad I say, and if you’re one of the nippers you should just stay away from the rum barrel. Do we have an accord? Good!

Ye be havin’ a rollickin’ good time on International Talk Like’n a Pirate Day, me hearties!

About the author

Doug

I am 48 years old, married with two young daughters. My interests are tennis, reading, computers, politics, and of course cocktails. I run a murder mystery party business that caters to both corporate and private events, Killing Time, murder consultants.

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