Review: Ron de Jeremy

Ron de Jeremy Bottle
A little while ago, I wrote a post about a new aged rum, Ron de Jeremy.
Yes, named for that Ron Jeremy.

Oh dear, I have a bad feeling about this post….

Probably wise.

Anyway, the Liquor Fairy rolled up this week with a bottle of Ron de Jeremy for my review! There really is a lot to go over, fun and serious, with this rum, and it is hard to decide where to…

Heh. You said, “hard”!

Don’t you start in, too!
I’ve got no problem with any of the subject matter, just the way you two are going to wallow in….

Sigh. If you two keep interrupting me, this is going to be one long post.

You said, “long”!

Ron de Jeremy is the brainchild of two Finnish guys, Ollie Hietalahti and Jouko Laune. Sitting one evening in a bar in Amsterdam, they were congenially perusing the rum offerings. They were struck by the group of rums which use the Spanish word, “Ron”, in their names. Soon, they were boozily riffing on made up rums that sounded like people’s names, until one of them uttered the fateful words, “Ron de Jeremy!”
For the heroes of our tale, this was one of those cocktail napkin ideas that was too good to discard upon regaining sobriety, and they resolved to make the brainstorm a reality. Neither had ever met The Man before, but Olli was undaunted and picked up the phone to make his pitch. “Talk about a cold call!” he remembers.
With buy-in from Ron, who had been upset for years at all these booze manufacturers who were “using his name” to market their rum, One-Eyed Spirits was born. They even tell this story (slightly embellished) in one of their many videos:

The company has made a number of good choices in getting their rum to market.
First, being advertising men, they created a lush, gorgeous ad campaign. It has fantastic still imagery…

(You can enjoy a silent video of how they made that picture here.)

Second, they also created some awesome video and one of the more entertaining product websites you will find. (And yes, it is perfectly safe, if a bit suggestive.) I suggest, no I require, that you go in particular to the How to Mix Drinks Ron Style section. In it you can choose which of Ron’s three comely bartenders will make one of three drinks. Each has their own style of very unique “flair” for each drink that you won’t want to miss. Neither Gaz Regan nor Tom Cruise has anything on these ladies’ routines.

Third, they indulged themselves in just the right amount of juvenile humor. I won’t steal anymore of their jokes than I did in my first post. Just poke around the website and…

Heh. You said, “poke”!


Fourth, and most importantly, they realized that as great spirits makers… they made great ad men. (Ad men are awesome at consuming great spirits, but it is important to know what you don’t know.) So they contracted with an established distillery in Panama (Alcoholes y Rones de Panama) to produce their molasses-based product, and hired an old pro, Francisco “Don Pancho” Fernandez to create it. The 72 year-old Don Pancho is a second-generation Cuban rum maker whose other rums include Zafra and Havana Club’s 7 Anos.

So, how’d he do with Ron de Jeremy?

It is hard to know what to expect with celebrity-connected products of any kind. Drinkhacker was a bit bemused by Ice-T’s brandy. Many of us were pleasantly surprised by Dan Aykroyd’s Crystal Head. In this case, I think they’ve got a winner. While they tout Ron de Jeremy as both a sipping and mixing rum, I think it leans more toward the former. It has a lovely vanilla and orange aromas and flavors. It’s quite smooth, even neat. It reminds me in many ways, stylistically and olfactorally, of a nice Cognac.

Few rums with any character are all purpose mixers, of course. Ron de Jeremy makes only a decent Mai Tai by itself. I got better results by blending it with other rums, but I never found a perfect match. Perhaps the Dood will come up with something. For me, I found it blends better with herbal or spice elements than fruits, so I’ll likely look elsewhere for my Tiki needs.

But where the Ron de Jeremy really shines is in a dead simple Old-Fashioned.

(All Ron de Jeremy drinks must be named like this)

  • 2 oz. Ron de Jeremy
  • 1/2 oz. simple syrup
  • 2 dashes Angostura Bitters

Stir ingredients with ice to chill. Place a big chunk of ice (if the ice isn’t big, it ain’t a Ron-Fashioned) in a glass and strain the drink over it. Slowly strip peel an orange and wrap a strip around the ice.

A properly made Ron-Fashioned
Click to engorge enlarge

I am completely serious. This is about the best Rum Old-Fashioned I’ve made yet, and I make a lot of Rum Old-Fashioneds.

As Craig Ferguson would say, I look forward to your letters….

I can think of some great entertainment to enjoy while having one of these!

Oh, you can think of that entertainment all you want….

You almost certainly won’t find Ron de Jeremy in your local liquor store yet, but you can find it in the US from DrinkUpNY. European readers should try Masters of Malt. Let me know if you try it, I’d love to hear your take.

About the author


I am 48 years old, married with two young daughters. My interests are tennis, reading, computers, politics, and of course cocktails. I run a murder mystery party business that caters to both corporate and private events, Killing Time, murder consultants.


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