So here’s the thing: Many of you think Social Media is your friend.
Many of you are wrong.
The web is full of cautionary tales and earnest advice about taking care of your privacy. And lots of people heed that advice. But then they pick up a drink.
Tequila wants you to post that picture of your wild (or even mild) antics with that hot chick who isn’t your girlfriend. But even if you’ve only had enough tequila to hang with the chick, but not enough to go putting pix of it on the web, be aware that Tequila is also whispering in that douchebag Steve’s ear. It is telling him to post pictures of you that you may not even notice he took. Google Cache is forever.
In fact, you don’t even need to be drunk to have an embarrassing picture taken of you.
So what do you do? Stay home all the time and never have any fun in public? Douchebag Steve and his cell camera are at your party at home as well, because he’s actually a cool dude most of the time. But Tequila is there too, advising him to FaceBook you right now, before anyone sobers up.
Social Media is hungry for content. We are generally eager to supply that content, even sober. To illustrate, I have 6,262 total tweets, while only saying perhaps twelve things worth mentioning.
Drinking has been
letting causing us to behave badly since the first Friday after beer was invented. But antics from a hazy evening could usually be dismissed in the sober light of day. It’s in the past, no harm done, and hey, we were drunk and it probably wasn’t really that bad anyway. The advent of cellphones that can take a picture and post it before anyone sobers up and discards the evidence changes this dynamic considerably. Despite the advertising slogan, what happens in Vegas, stays in a FaceBook server farm on the Arctic Circle in Sweden.
The problem with all this discussion is that, like the weather, everyone talks about it, but no one does anything about it.
Argentine beer maker, Cerveza Norte, has come up with the Patriot Missile Battery of drunken FaceBook defense, the Fotostop.
Yes, it’s a beer cooler.
But it turns this photo from Steve’s Android…
…into this photo:
That little square on the cooler is a flash, and when it senses Steve’s flash, it counters with it’s own, wiping out the picture. You can see it in action in an over-wrought video from Norte that is more likely to send you to an AA meeting than to the store to buy a Fotostop.
Of course, like a Patriot counter-missile battery, the Fotostop is not a perfect defense. I’m sure it doesn’t defend on every angle, for instance. And imagine one of these sitting on every table at Ghost Bar in Vegas. Steve rolls in, sees you with a guy who is not your husband, and shoots a picture. His flash triggers your Fotostop. Your Fotostop triggers the guy at the next table’s Fotostop, which in turn triggers the 15 of them arrayed around the crown prince of Belgium’s table. These set off every other one in the club. In the ensuing blindness, bartenders pour Effen in place of Grey Goose, customers realize what happened and discover there is no difference between vodkas, and the entire liquor industry comes crashing down around us. But at least no images of you and that guy end up on the web, so we’d have that.
Also, if you are out in broad daylight, no flash means no defense.