READING

If Cocktail Blog Comment Sections Were Like the Re...

If Cocktail Blog Comment Sections Were Like the Rest of the Internet

In the waning hours of Tiki Month, I made a few comments about how nice it was to have so many comments over so many posts, and noted that there aren’t enough comments in general on cocktail blogs. Mine especially, alas.

I’ve been thinking about it since, and come to the conclusion that this is not completely bad. Let’s discuss what would happen if the comment sections of the Cocktailosphere looked like YouTube or your average political blog….

The first thing to understand about our comment sections is that they are sparse mostly because of our existing traffic levels. Fewer readers by extension leads to fewer comments. To understand the difference in scale, this is the first year my traffic is high enough that a single link from political/cool stuff aggregator Instapundit would not be 25% of my annual hits.
The first problem with lots of comments is this guy:

followed swiftly by this guy:

Of course, I would never have this particular visitor, but some of my fellow bloggers would quickly become close, personal friends with this guy:

The real fun would begin as a larger commenter base would inevitably lead to controversy…

  1. 7

    Bob Says:
    August 15th, 2012 at 7:27 pm
    I dunno. I think that you’re using too much lemon juice there.

  2. 8

    Steve Says:
    August 15th, 2012 at 8:08 pm
    Forget the lemon juice issue. This just seems like a bit of a waste of good Glenfiddich.

  3. 9

    Caps Lock Guy Says:
    August 15th, 2012 at 8:09 pm
    IT IS AN ABOMINATION TO MIX SINGLE MALT WITH ANYTHING!! INCLUDING ICE!!!

  4. 10

    Caps Lock Guy Says:
    August 15th, 2012 at 8:10 pm
    EVEN MELTED ICE!

Bloggers with controversy in their comments love it because, as Rule 4 says, controversy drives traffic. But what kind of controversy would really take hold on cocktail blogs?

  1. 3

    CosmoGirl8675309 Says:
    August 25th, 2012 at 9:27 pm
    Thanks for this review on the new Aputure Vodka. I’ve been wanting to try it.

  2. 4

    Trudy Says:
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:08 pm
    My state’s Liquor control bored doesn’t let them sell it here! Some friends and me are organizing a protest outside their headquarters. Who’s with us? #OccupyLiquorStores

  3. 5

    The Vodkatologist Says:
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:11 pm
    Honestly, how you can recommend this pisswater with a straight face is beyond me. It says very little for your abilities as a reviewer. I see you didn’t even mention that they make this… fluid with potatoes and wheat. How anyone thinks they can get away with selling anything other pure RYE vodka to today’s sophisticated drinker is completely beyond my ken. Did they PAY you to not mention the wheat? Did they?

  4. 6

    Clint Says:
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:20 pm
    Another rant from your twisted mind about rye, Vodkatologist. Give it up, potato is the only proper base for liquor.

  5. 7

    Matt Robold Says:
    August 25th, 2012 at 10:21 pm
    There is simply no hope for any of you people.

One of the good things about real cocktail blog comments is that most commentators are civil and knowledgeable. With 300 commenters on a single post, this will end… because there aren’t 300 civil and knowledgeable people on the internet.

  1. 45

    Skipper Says:
    August 5th, 2012 at 11:27 pm
    I fail to see why you want us to use so many damn ingredients in this drink. I seems like you could replace everything but the orgeat with blackberry brandy and you’re done.

  2. 4

    JerseyGuy Says:
    August 5th, 2012 at 11:28 pm
    Fag.

And of course, with this sort of discussion, The Rule would make an appearance.

  1. 23

    CosmoGirl8675309 Says:
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:27 pm
    I wish you hadn’t posted this recipe. I had only seven of them last week at a bar and I threw up!

  2. 24

    Trudy Says:
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:33 pm
    I know girl! And what kind of bar throws you out fur just a little spew in the corner?
    Violet Hour suxxx.

  3. 25

    Skippy77 Says:
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:39 pm
    You blew chunks in the middle of Violet Hour?!?
    They should have thrown you out long before you spewed, you lush!

  4. 26

    Clint Says:
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:41 pm
    Hey! THEIR DRINK WERE WHAT MADE ME THROW UP! PEOPLE PUKE IN BARS! WHAT KIND OF HITLER OPERATION THROWS PEEPS FOR DOING WHAT COMES NATURAL?

  5. 27

    Godwin Says:
    September 7th, 2012 at 8:42 pm
    Invoked….

This is only a sample. Help me out in the comments with some of your dreams nightmares of what Cocktailosphere comments would look like with ten times the traffic.


RELATED POST

  1. Peety

    2 March

    Doug, FTW!

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  2. Ninja9

    2 March

    First!!!

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  3. Steve

    2 March

    Ninja9,

    Ha! pwned!

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  4. Will456

    2 March

    As an avid vodka drinker, I’m concerned that this kind of mockery might give those moron gin drinkers more excuse to demonize us about how all our products taste alike. Please Stop!

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  5. The Socialista

    2 March

    Ha Doug! Great piece. I spewed coke all over my keyboard laughing. Fortunately I have a keyboard cover that saved my computer. Do you have one? You can buy them here: http://www.amazon.com/Universal-Silicone-Keyboard-Protector-Notebook/dp/B0030UF24G/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1330721578&sr=8-3
    I don’t work for the company or anything.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  6. Chip Dunwoody III

    2 March

    I’m not sure how useful all this really is in a country where Obama is trying to actively destroy civilization! You should listen to Rush more, then you’ll have a reason to drink.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  7. Joe

    2 March

    It seems like there is an awful lot of absinthe in this drink, Doug

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  8. The Guy

    2 March

    This is an awesome post, Doug.

    I know you are too modest to think that yourself, so I’m just pointing it out because it has to be said.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  9. sylvan

    2 March

    Umm, there’s 4 e’s in Beefeater. 😉

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  10. Britney

    2 March

    Come on, guys! Quite hating on Vodka!
    LEAVE VODKA ALONE!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E7WRTd8MEX4

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  11. The Intrepid Investigator

    2 March

    FAKE!

    All these comments are fake.

    It is a well-known fact that no one comments on cocktail blogs, except for Jeffrey Morganthaler’s old posts about ginger beer and douche-bags making daiquiris.

    I’ll bet that if we got a subpoena, we’d find that the IP addresses for all these comments come from Doug’s PC. Except the one from The Guy. I know he’s real. I’ve met him.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  12. Lars

    2 March

    Godwin only invented that rule to de-legitimize the Fuhrer’s usefulness in arguments!

    Clearly, he works for the large banks and the Israeli lobby.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  13. Godwin

    2 March

    Dude. Check your meds.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  14. The Intrepid Investigator

    2 March

    Also, I’ve been examining that video Britney posted above and… FAKE!
    Osama Bin Laden’s lips clearly don’t match those words.
    And I’m not sure he ever got involved in that controversy at all.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  15. Frederic

    2 March

    I have no clue what to say when people comment that they didn’t like the drink. Such as a drink that is 1/4 Chartreuse and complain that it was too Chartreusy. Or one person who spewed a comment how the drink was disgusting because she drank a lot of them then threw up.

    I used to want more comments until I started getting comments about how the drink was too sweet, too tart, too Maraschino-y as if it were my fault that our tastes did not agree.

    I did make an effort a while ago to comment on people’s blogs, as many as I could. Unfortunately, it didn’t trickle back, so I went back to more of a voyeur mode.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  16. Dagreb

    2 March

    Frederic,

    I can only comment on so many of your posts…

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  17. Jordan

    2 March

    There are a very small handful of places I frequent on the internet that have a lot of high quality comments. Only one is something other than special interest and it requires fairly heavy-handed moderation to keep things from getting out of check.

    I probably lose a few comments due to the fact that mine are auto-moderated, but I fee like that’s better than having to clean up the spam afterwards.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  18. Dagreb

    3 March

    Jordan,

    So that’s where my comments keep going!

    Cheers.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  19. Clueless

    5 March

    I had a really great drink the other day with Malibu, Midori, peach schnapps, and SoCo. You should try that one.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  20. YOUR BLOG’S SPAM FILTER KEEPS CATCHING MY COMMENTS; SURE IT HAS A VENDETTA AGAINST ME. NO OTHER EXPLANATION. ALSO, RON PAUL!!!

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  21. Doug

    7 March

    I specifically omitted the good Doctor’s name from this post… I knew he’d show up somehow without me!
    It just wouldn’t be a comments post without the rEVOLution.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  22. Tony Harion

    8 March

    Wow! Incredible post!

    I really feel like you opened new doors in my life when you wrote about this subject.

    Amazing! Thank you!

    -Buy online meds –

    🙂

      (Quote)  (Reply)

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

 

INSTAGRAM
KNOW US BETTER