Category - Rule 5

1
It Be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, 2014!
2
The Cocktailosphere Has A New YouTube Darling
3
New Cocktail Blogging Tool
4
Safety In Paradise

It Be International Talk Like A Pirate Day, 2014!

Via Pop Art
Avast there, ye swabs and lubbers alike! It be impart’nt to remember that terday be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! It be silly. It be fun. It be a day fer drinkin’ lots o’ rum!

Leave yer gin and yer whiskies ashore today, Mateys, the vodka and tequilarrr as well. Today’s imbibin’ must be rum… or the lash!

"Or you can have rum and the lash—Whichever floats your boat...."

“Or you can have rum and the lash—Whichever floats your boat….”

Now, ye can be swilling yer rum w’ all manner o’ side parties. Cap’n Morgan, who be workin’ harder each year to board the good ship ITLAPD, this year wants ye to be drinkin’ Cap’n and Colarrr!

Of course, yer true sea dog, by the end o’ the festivities at least, when the wenches be all auctioned off, the port burnt to cinders, and the loot buried, will just swill his rum straight. But make sure it be the good stuff, or the crew will keelhaul ye!

"And don't drink too much, because I'm not swabbing the deck in the aftermath!"

“And don’t drink too much, because I’m not swabbing the deck in the aftermath!”

But whatever manner o’ concoction ye put together wi’ yer rum tonight, be sure there be plenty o’ lime in it! Limes go great wi’ rum. And you don’t want to be getting scurvy!
it__s_not_scurvy_house_stencil
Belay that, ye scurvy knave! Wi’ pirates, it be always scurvy!

The Cocktailosphere Has A New YouTube Darling

JaNee Nisonger, "LA's Hottest Bartender"
The Cocktailosphere has a new instructional YouTube video favorite, JaNee Nisonger of Maholo.com. Sometimes it takes a while for us to discover the greatness in these kind of videos. It took nearly a year before our prior guru from the American Bartending School, and his special garnish Daiquiri was discovered and brought to us by Jeff Morganthaler. In this case, JaNee’s work has been languishing in relative obscurity for almost four years, until it’s sudden notoriety this week. I’ve seen this 1st video being passed around by everyone in my FaceBook and Twitter feeds from USBG members to an Irish priest Notre Dame law professor.

Without further ado, let me present How to Make an Old-Fashioned:

I learned a lot from this video…

  1. Either sugar cubes or simple syrup will make a drink sweeter than the other one will. Which one, I didn’t catch.
  2. Using simple syrup instead of sugar cubes will make your finished drink “more liquidy”.
  3. Use “orange slice wedges”. More on this in a bit.
  4. Professional bartenders should use huge wooden spoons to muddle with.
  5. Be sure to use the special invisible Angostura Bitters that cannot be seen coming out of the bottle, even in extreme closeup.
  6. Use a glass as your ice scoop.
  7. “Three ounces” of bourbon will completely fill a pint glass.
  8. In other news, serve your Old-Fashioneds in pint glasses! (Perhaps you should also have this website engraved on the inside bottom of the glass)
  9. An Old-Fashioned is kind of like a Manhattan, but the orange makes it even better.
  10. To mix your Old-Fashioned, pour it back and forth between your pint glass serving vessel and your glass ice scoop which, by the way, isn’t large enough to hold it all. This allows you to make the required “messes all over the place”.
  11. Your finished drink should not fill your glass anymore, making it look like the bartender took a hearty slug or three for themselves before handing it over.

“Orange slice wedges”? This is what happens when you have an actress read a script, and she finds herself confronted with props that don’t match her lines. Yes, she is an actress. She was a bartender in LA, of course she’s an actor too. Here’s her IMDB page to prove it. Read it all. She also appears to have taken a shot at a country music career.

She also has a Masters Degree in education, and I imagine she’s since the time of this video moved on to a high school teaching something other than mixology.

My point in all the biographical info is to remind people that I’m having fun with this, but this train wreck of a video series was no fault of hers. Don’t blame her.

And yes, it is a series of videos, not just this one.
Read More

New Cocktail Blogging Tool


Fresh citrus in her drinks or no, she’s not going to feel comfortable in the Craft Bartending game until she grows a beard and gets some tattoos….

The picture atop this post is a stock image from GettyImages, as you can easily tell from the information displayed below it. It represents an important new potential in online publishing and an advance in thinking on Intellectual Property (the latter being a bugaboo around these parts). Getty recently announced that many of the images in its online catalog are now available to embed, free of charge in media outlets like this one.

For some bloggers, especially food and cocktail writers, third-party photographs are a non-issue, as they only post their own photos as an illustration of their hard, creative work. I post plenty of my own photos here, of course… some of which I’m pretty damn proud of. But in my case, as is the case of a huge swath of blogs on all subject matters, I also write about a lot more than just recipes, and Blogging 101 says that it is nice to have an eye-catching hero pic to illustrate the theme of the post. If I need an erupting volcano picture, or one of businessmen arguing over a widget, or indeed, one of a smoking hot brunette bartender cutting limes, I don’t usually have the subject at ready hand to photograph myself.

Previously, to post the specific image embedded above in that approximate size would have cost me sixty five dollars. At that price, the chances of my using that photo would have been nil. And even if I had dropped the cash on Getty to post it, that would have been, given the practice of the day now, the last Getty would likely have gotten from most any source. Why? Because had I posted it here in standard host it myself fashion, when any other writer googles “smoking hot brunette bartender cutting limes” they would be likely to get either my post or, of course, this article about smoking hot, brunette bartender Keith Waldbauer. And they would likely grab “my” picture from here and then post it themselves, maybe linking back to here. Worse, for Getty, professional marketing types who needed a full-resolution version (around $500+) would likely have a hard time finding where this vision of loveliness can be purchased, given the likely proliferation of blog posts about her that don’t link directly back to Getty. Or, you know, they might just call their Seattle office and have them hire Keith….

It is also important to note that there are a zillion bloggers, Facebookers, and Pinsters out there who neither know as much as I do about intellectual property, nor give a damn to find out. They just want that pretty picture to put on their page, and they do know how to right-click…. Getty is getting nothing but damage from these people.

With this new embed policy, Getty is showing some real foresight. In virtually no case will someone using one of these embedded images be someone who would have actually paid to use it in the past. But now Getty will maintain a direct link back to themselves in many, if not most instances of use. Look below the picture.

Hey Mister!
My social media buttons are down here!

Um, dear…
That doesn’t sound right. It usually is said the other way, and you sound as if…
Never mind! Never mind! Forget I said anything!
Please?

See the Twitter, tumblr, and embed buttons? Or just click on the pic and go right to the purchase page. If you are a blogger and want her picture, you could still just steal the picture by downloading it. Surprisingly, they don’t even try to block that. But why bother, when you can click one button and save your own bandwidth, and your time?

Thus, when the guy at the Citrus Marketing Association sees Blue Tube Top Girl and falls in love with her, he can get that picture, and others of her, for his new print ad with a few clicks.

Getty is showing that they are learning the Apple message about content, a lesson most content providers, to their stockholders’ detriment, stubbornly refuse to learn: The way to profit from your digital content is not to surround it with guard dogs, but to make it so easy to buy that people won’t bother to pirate it.

I’m happy to be an unpaid salesperson for GettyImages. I’m glad because of course, I’m not unpaid. I get access to lots of good illustrative pictures for my general interest posts. So the next time I want to write about wild, over the top, borderline illegal office parties, I can use just the right picture, like this.

Safety In Paradise

OK, I hesitate to claim that Air New Zealand is “in” for Tiki Month, as I was legitimately able to do with Frankie’s Tiki Room, but I’m gonna suggest it. They posted this, their new cabin safety video, in February after all! And it shows some of the most beautiful tropical island scenery of the Cook Islands I’ve seen, so I want to post it.

Tropical island scenery?
There are islands in this video?
Can’t say as how I noticed.
That said, I will grant that the scenery is pretty awesome.

What are you on about? There are the fabulous Cook Islands. There are flower leis. There are… Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover models… OK. I get your point.

Come on. I gotta shoehorn in some Rule 5 at some point in every Tiki Month. After all, as I have chronicled heretofore, Tiki is about (among other things) guilt-free sex!

And to my female readership, don’t worry. Air New Zealand is an equal opportunity outfit. There is a special guest appearance (they have special guest appearances in airline safety videos now?) by Christie Brinkley, who in addition to being quite the Mikana Añejo herself, seems to be there to remind everyone that Los Angeles is the Air New Zealand destination with the hottest pool boys.

I must say that it is interesting the way that Air New Zealand is turning the safety talk into a revenue opportunity. But celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the Swimsuit Edition immediately after the prior celebration is kind of a jarring change in the amount of hair. Good to see they both manage to make the life vest inflation segment into a dirty joke. Bear Grylls (thank God) didn’t get that memo in his version….
Read More

Copyright © 2014. Douglas A. Winship. Powered by WordPress.