Category - Funny

Wrong. Just Wrong. Genius-Level Wrong
The Apotheosis of Cocktail Reporting
SideBlog: 20 Two-Legged Nightmares of Every Bartender
SideBlog: Gif—No Words Needed

Wrong. Just Wrong. Genius-Level Wrong

Look at that. No good can possibly come from that.

Well, how about getting your flask into a sporting event?

How about having to buy an admission ticket for your flask? The math doesn’t work.

I’ve heard that women really go for the caring single dad-type. Compulsively kissing your baby’s forehead should make you appear to be serious nurturing material.

The Pick-up Artist lifestyle is deeply problematic, or so I’ve heard screeched. Besides, if you are always bending down to slurp your “baby’s” forehead, the women will see your incipient bald spot. If you want women, get a dog.

Or a dog-shaped flask, maybe?


As I said. This thing will just not work, and is Wrong™. So of course, I’m going to link to step-by-step instructions, and embed a video of the process…. I’m so ashamed.

The Apotheosis of Cocktail Reporting

I’m breaking the recent radio silence to share a find by Angus Winchester. I’m sure you remember the game Mad Libs? A great game that I loved as a kid, it has a fatal flaw: Replayability. Once you fill in a sheet, it is never as good if you try that same sheet again. There are times when blogging about cocktails (and most other things) you can get to feeling as if you are just filling in the same old sheet, over and over.

This gets worse when the people you are “playing with” keep giving you the same answers to fill in the sheet….

With that introduction, let me point you to a brilliantly hilarious illustration of this problem, by Max Chanowitz: New Bar in [Town].

Whether you write about bars, or just talk about them (I’m assuming you drink in them of course), try this experiment. Put where you live in place of [Town] and go from there with as many local craft cocktail bars as you can think of. For how many will you come up with a completely publishable press release about their opening?

The whole post is totally short, so I can’t excerpt much, but I’ll give you this to make sure you visit.

The building’s previous tenant is gone but not forgotten — there are plenty of cheeky references to [charming relic business] in the decor and cocktail names. They have a drink called The [the street it’s on], and another one named after [famous person in local lore]. They also reportedly serve a [neighborhood name], which is like a Manhattan, but with [unnecessary twist] instead of [what it should be]. Intriguing.

SideBlog: 20 Two-Legged Nightmares of Every Bartender

Twenty two-legged nightmares every bartender hates. OK, my pro friends, who did the author miss?

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