Category: Funny
Beer, Funny, Stuff, Vodka

Fun With a Brita

[caption id="attachment_10909" align="aligncenter" width="550"]You are watching science in action, folks! You are watching science in action, folks![/caption] I'm continuing with my YouTube/Trivia/Humor blogging while I set up posts of a more substantive nature for Tiki Month.... This one is of a comedienne and a bicep aficionado who decide to do some practical tests about all those rumors you hear regarding what a Brita water filter will or will not do to a variety of liquids. Spoiler Alert: Several of the liquids are alcoholic, and they have a lot of time on their hands between samples while the Brita does its work. (Or doesn't, as the case may be. There are two major lessons to be learned from this video.
  1. Brita filters are very good at their job.
  2. If you want your Bud Light to taste like a premium craft brew, filter a little through a Brita, drink that, then the Bud Light will be freaking awesome in comparison!
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drinking, Funny, Political Controversies, Rule 4, Whiskey, Whisky

Irish Hipsters Compare Their Booze to America’s

I've got two fun videos that entertain yet say a lot about drinking tastes and booze-making skills on either side of the Atlantic. The first is about beer, and the second is about whiskey vs whisky. In each we watch as a group of Irish hipsters...
So, what's the group word for hipsters? You know, a Murder of crows, a Bloat of hippos, a Congress of Owls...
Heh. A "Congress of owls"... You know, because owls are supposed to be wise, and Congress is, um, demonstrably not.
Yeah! Wait... You're getting me off topic in the middle of my interruption!
Now you know what it feels like!
Harumph. Names like this usually come from what the group is or does, like a Skulk of Jackals. And since a Nuisance of housecats is already taken...
OK. So these videos present us with a Pose of hipsters from Ireland blind-tasting booze. [caption id="attachment_10803" align="aligncenter" width="530"]Frasier T-Shirt in 2015? Yep, they're hipsters. Frasier T-Shirt in 2015? Yep, they're hipsters.[/caption] The first, I found via LikeCool. They take our Pose of Irishpersons two at a time and present them with an American beer in plastic cups. First they get all squee over the quaint, silly American custom of drinking out of cheap, convenient, clean, and safe drinkware. Then, they try Budweiser, High Life, Brooklyn Lager, Coors Light, and Sam Adams. Watch: I was initially surprised about how kind they were to the King of Beers, but only a little. See, here's my own little mental test of a drinker's character, when they start talking about beer. If they trash Budweiser, I know they are a snob with self-awareness issues. Budweiser is the very definition of drinkable, when it comes to fermented grain. No, there is nothing interesting about it, because there is nothing objectionable about it. If you can't enjoy an afternoon drinking a bucket of cold Buds, you have lost the capacity to just enjoy beer. and I feel sorry for you.
Some of you who know Doug are realizing about now that he has judged you in just this way in the past. Now, don't you feel ashamed?
As for the rest, the Miller and the Brooklyn get mocked, the Sam Adams get a little love, and the Coors Light gets exactly what it deserves. It's all fun and games as they mock American beer in every way that is reasonable to the Irish, and quite understandable to Americans. But here's the thing: they know all the beer they are trying is American. It gets a lot more interesting in the second video. Here, our intrepid drinkers are presented with a side-by-side samples of one American and one Irish whisk(e)y, and must choose which they prefer. They pick up little signs to signify their choice. If they see our guy, who-wishes-he-were-a-king-but-isn't-so-suck-it-Barack, they chose the Whiskey, and if they see their pasty white guy, who-totally-isn't-the-Queen-and-we'll-totally-punch-you-in-the-nose-if-you-suggest-he-might-as-well-be, they chose the Whisky. The results? Yeah, Michael Higgins doesn't get a lot of face time. The American's just crush the Irish in this test, folks. [caption id="attachment_10806" align="aligncenter" width="448"]USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA![/caption] To be fair, there isn't a lot of practical applicability to this kind of test. I would personally make the American choice in all three of these comparisons. But. Whenever I walk into a place and the bartender is clearly in the weeds, or just look like they couldn't mix a Rum and Coke without help, I always, always order a Jameson neat. Why? See my comments about Budweiser above. The Irish, they know brown liquor, though it might pain them to acknowledge it in the context of the contest we just watched. Why? Well, re-watch the first four seconds of that second video, or try out this little music video I made back when this blog (and my kids) were new to the world. abc
Bartenders, Funny, Rule 2

If Ikea Made Cocktails

Blogging co-conspirator Jacob Grier goes full Dumbledore and awards "all the points" to KJ DeBoer at Fish Sauce in Portland for this aquavit cocktail presentation. This is genius, and all you craft types who think you bring the creativity can just look upon this and despair. The thought process here is crystal clear: Aquavit -> Sweden -> Ikea -> Some assembly required -> Wordless Instrctions -> Ubiquitous allen wrench -> Swizzle stick. Yet neither you nor I thought of it and thus we must all bow to KJ. But... I rate "all the points" as false, since I reserve twenty for Jacob for sharing it and giving me easy content....
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Bartenders, Funny, Rule 4

(Not Quite) The State of Cocktails Today

Seen on Facebook from André Sousa. Please watch and enjoy. If you haven't already watched this, I mean. It has four and a half million views in four days. The big time bars "on the cutting edge" need to think long and hard about that view count. What you are about to see really is not the state of craft cocktails in 2015, but for it to strike such a nerve should tell bartenders that they are treading far too close for comfort. See? I just have one question. Is that a breadstick?abc
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