Ahoy there, me hearties! Since today is by way o’ bein’ September the 19th, the language around this here blog today is wee bit saltier than be usually the case. As in the salt o’ the High Seas… and Adventure!
September the 19th be International
Drink Talk Like a Pirate Day, so be sure to be modifyin’ yer language to sound like a scurvy dog in search of plunder til the Sun be well past the yardarm. It’ll delight yer fellow swabbies who be in the know, and confuse the lubbers… that always makes ’em easier to plunder, ye know.
If ye be wanting some tips on piratical speech, I be havin’ a prior post on the subject, wi’ videos and some discussion ‘o getting your cocktail on, pirate talk style. And more to the point, I have many posts on how to mix yer refreshments for when ye sun sets in the west. May the sky be red fer ye! X marks the spot fer those treasures here, here, here, and sorta here. Finally, while I be tootin’ me own hornpipe o’ past piratical punditification, here be me own interview wi’ the masters o’ ITLAPD themselves, Cap’n Slappy and Ol’ Chumbucket.
So, what manner o’ new material have I fer this year’s a lootin’ and a pillagin’? Arrr, first off with the non-drinnkin’ booty, I just want to be observin’ that since the inception o’ this wee little celebration o’ almost everything real piratin’ was not, the world has seen a resurgence o’ real piracy upon the high seas. And while ye’ haven’t been by way o’ hearin’ about them as much lately, they’ve been expanding their range and even attacking naval vessels! Me own instincts be tellin’ me that any solution that doesn’t involve taskin’ yardarms and keels will be by way o’ ineffective…. But whatever we do, it be high time to rid the wolrd o’ pirates who look like this:
…so that we can be gettin’ back to pirates who be lookin’ more like this:
Or (perhaps) better, this:
And young Miss Swann is by way o’ sailing us (tangentially) into the harbor o’ my cocktail related material fer this year’s festivitatin’.
Ye see, me hearties, the word is out that Hollywood be plottin’ a remake o’ The Thin Man, with perhaps a bit more material from the original Dashiell Hammett book. This ol’ pirate has his doubts about how well they’ll manage things, as do many others.
Avast! What manner of trickery be this, ye scurvy knave!
What possible connection to high-functioning alcoholics in the 1930’s be piratin’ havin’?
I’m glad ye’ asked, me hearty. (Nice hat, by the way.) Because all the word on the street be that they intend The Thin Man to star this well-known pirate laddie:
NARRRR, ye bilge rat! Johnny Depp. People always said he played Jack Sparrow like Errol Flynn, but I kind saw Nick Charles in him from the beginning. One simply never knows whether or how drunk he is. And Depp be roguishly charming, that be sure. As an actor, I think he be a great pick fer the part. I just don’t know how he’ll look. Have any of you been seein’ yon swashbuckler ever cleaned up like this?