A little while ago, I wrote a post about a new aged rum, Ron de Jeremy.
Yes, named for that Ron Jeremy.

Oh dear, I have a bad feeling about this post….

Probably wise.

Anyway, the Liquor Fairy rolled up this week with a bottle of Ron de Jeremy for my review! There really is a lot to go over, fun and serious, with this rum, and it is hard to decide where to…

Heh. You said, “hard”!

Don’t you start in, too!
I’ve got no problem with any of the subject matter, just the way you two are going to wallow in….

Sigh. If you two keep interrupting me, this is going to be one long post.

You said, “long”!

…

Ron de Jeremy is the brainchild of two Finnish guys, Ollie Hietalahti and Jouko Laune. Sitting one evening in a bar in Amsterdam, they were congenially perusing the rum offerings. They were struck by the group of rums which use the Spanish word, “Ron”, in their names. Soon, they were boozily riffing on made up rums that sounded like people’s names, until one of them uttered the fateful words, “Ron de Jeremy!”
For the heroes of our tale, this was one of those cocktail napkin ideas that was too good to discard upon regaining sobriety, and they resolved to make the brainstorm a reality. Neither had ever met The Man before, but Olli was undaunted and picked up the phone to make his pitch. “Talk about a cold call!” he remembers.
With buy-in from Ron, who had been upset for years at all these booze manufacturers who were “using his name” to market their rum, One-Eyed Spirits was born. They even tell this story (slightly embellished) in one of their many videos:

The company has made a number of good choices in getting their rum to market.
First, being advertising men, they created a lush, gorgeous ad campaign. It has fantastic still imagery…

(You can enjoy a silent video of how they made that picture here.)

Second, they also created some awesome video and one of the more entertaining product websites you will find. (And yes, it is perfectly safe, if a bit suggestive.) I suggest, no I require, that you go in particular to the How to Mix Drinks Ron Style section. In it you can choose which of Ron’s three comely bartenders will make one of three drinks. Each has their own style of very unique “flair” for each drink that you won’t want to miss. Neither Gaz Regan nor Tom Cruise has anything on these ladies’ routines.

Third, they indulged themselves in just the right amount of juvenile humor. I won’t steal anymore of their jokes than I did in my first post. Just poke around the website and…

Heh. You said, “poke”!

…!

Fourth, and most importantly, they realized that as great spirits makers… they made great ad men. (Ad men are awesome at consuming great spirits, but it is important to know what you don’t know.) So they contracted with an established distillery in Panama (Alcoholes y Rones de Panama) to produce their molasses-based product, and hired an old pro, Francisco “Don Pancho” Fernandez to create it. The 72 year-old Don Pancho is a second-generation Cuban rum maker whose other rums include Zafra and Havana Club’s 7 Anos.

So, how’d he do with Ron de Jeremy?

It is hard to know what to expect with celebrity-connected products of any kind. Drinkhacker was a bit bemused by Ice-T’s brandy. Many of us were pleasantly surprised by Dan Aykroyd’s Crystal Head. In this case, I think they’ve got a winner. While they tout Ron de Jeremy as both a sipping and mixing rum, I think it leans more toward the former. It has a lovely vanilla and orange aromas and flavors. It’s quite smooth, even neat. It reminds me in many ways, stylistically and olfactorally, of a nice Cognac.

Few rums with any character are all purpose mixers, of course. Ron de Jeremy makes only a decent Mai Tai by itself. I got better results by blending it with other rums, but I never found a perfect match. Perhaps the Dood will come up with something. For me, I found it blends better with herbal or spice elements than fruits, so I’ll likely look elsewhere for my Tiki needs.

But where the Ron de Jeremy really shines is in a dead simple Old-Fashioned.

I am completely serious. This is about the best Rum Old-Fashioned I’ve made yet, and I make a lot of Rum Old-Fashioneds.

As Craig Ferguson would say, I look forward to your letters….

Hey!
I can think of some great entertainment to enjoy while having one of these!

Oh, you can think of that entertainment all you want….

You almost certainly won’t find Ron de Jeremy in your local liquor store yet, but you can find it in the US from DrinkUpNY. European readers should try Masters of Malt. Let me know if you try it, I’d love to hear your take.

This post has nothing to do with cocktails, beyond raising a toast to (and some funds for) wounded American servicemen and women.

Since 2005, Project Valor-IT has worked an annual fund-raising drive to provide computer and other tech aids to wounded US military personnel to aid in recovery or in leading a fuller life. Among the items Valor-IT provides are voice-controlled laptop computers for those who cannot use traditional user interfaces, GPS systems for those who have challenges with short-term memory loss or other navigational challenges, and even Nintendo Wiis for rehabilitation facilities that aid in motivation and speed recovery. These items are greatly needed, and can make a huge difference in the lives of heroes.
The men and women of the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines show us every day that they are willing to write checks that only their bodies can cash. Checks they believe will help to preserve our way of life. Can’t you write one of your own?
As a fund-raising aid that injects a lighter touch to this serious issue, Project Valor-IT has in recent years begun to make its annual fund-drive into a “contest” between the four services. Bloggers who sign up to promote the project choose a team to join, and if you click on the new widget over on the right sidebar, your donation will be credited to my chosen team, the Army.
I chose the Army because my father served in the Army (unwillingly— a condition affecting no current soldier), my brother-in-law recently retired from the Army (thanks, John!), a great uncle of mine was once Judge Advocate General of the Army, and several other ancestors so served. I have a bunch of Navy ancestors as well, but I had to choose.
The contest is just for fun. All funds raised are pooled together and spent where they are needed most. If you’d like to learn more, this is the Project Valor-IT website. The team leader of Army is Blackfive, a military blogger with a fun-loving distaste for other services, especially the Air Force. (If your sympathies lie with the wing-wipers, don’t click that link. Or better yet, do click it, get mad, and go to the Air Force team page and donate there!)
There is only about a week left (I’m lazily slow off the mark) in this year’s drive, but if you read this after November the 11th, please give anyway. Soldier’s Angels is a year-round organization.
In closing, let me raise this toast to our uniformed personnel:

I drink to your health when I’m wit’ ye.
I drink to your health when alone.
I drink to your health so much in fact…
I’m beginnin’ to worry about me own!

I now return you to your regularly scheduled frivolity.

P.S. In an effort to ensure that all four services get a little love here, there’s two more fun items below the fold: (more…)

Via my favorite Guy Oriented Website You (probably) Won’t Get Busted For Browsing, Asylum.com, comes an article from the Telegraph. It proves once again that Britain is the land of interesting alcohol research. (All booze studies in the US come to either or usually both of the following conclusions: Alcohol is the Debbil, or We were unable to prove that alcohol is the Debbil, so we need more funding study to get the goods on it.) The valuable information recovered from this study is: Alcohol goes to the head in six minutes.
Here are the money grafs:

Scientists set out to test the well-known saying that just one drink can quickly go to your head.
Only six minutes after consuming an amount of alcohol equivalent to three glasses of beer or two glasses of wine, leading to a blood alcohol level of 0.05 to 0.06 percent, changes had already taken place in brain cells.

I’ll leave it to you to spot all the peripheral silliness in these two one sentence paragraphs. To me the big question I popped from this was, drinking three beers through a straw while lying on your back in an MRI only leads to a 0.05 BAC?!?!?
Really?
I can think of only three explanations for this:

1. Brits drink really low alcohol beer. Verdict: Not bloody likely.
2. Brits have a different metabolic process from Americans. Verdict: Even less likely.
3. Brits drink small beers. Verdict: Ummm, I dunno.
4. MRI machines inhibit drunkenness. Verdict: Who cares?

Any readers from across the Pond want to help me out on this?

Image does not depict BAC of 0.05.

Anyway, I am aware that the actual study probably was aimed at those chemical changes in the brain, not how fast you get your buzz on, but the scientists’ PR people clearly know how to craft a press release to attract the attention of newspapers (and your humble blogger, apparently).
But what are we to take from this information? What can we do with it? I’m not sure. But the first fact I can think of is that when you slam a shot of tequila or chilled vodka, the wobbly feeling you get instantly is not intoxication, it’s just shock to your tissues. Also, while there is a delay between intake and effect, it’s probably not long enough to accomplish anything useful, so don’t try.
When you combine this the first rule of cocktail wisdom, A cocktail should be drunk quickly, while it is still laughing at you, I think it means you need to wait a while between drinks if you want any meaningful gauge of where you are, drunkenness-wise. Beyond that, does anyone else have a use for this, beyond being a basis for a cool James Bond scene?

Just as a quick heads up, I see that Craig Hermann has taken hammer and saw to the Monkey Hut in Exile and renamed his blog from Tiki Drinks and Indigo Firmaments to Colonel Tiki’s Drinks. All the content is the same, so far, but the design is a bit cleaner, and the URL is much easier for schlubs like me to remember!
Don’t forget to update your blogrolls, folks!

Huka Pelé!
Um, I am in part grumpy because my blog has not been afflicted with the problem that has the cocktailosphere buzzing like a hornet’s nest today. But I am more happy that I avoided this plague, and only feel compelled to compile a list of links to the beat-down that has occurred today.
Ummm. The language employed here is in some cases… salty.
Cocktailnerd says, essentially, Say hello to my little friend!
Drink Planner demonstrates his Google-Fu.
Tiki Idol Trader Tiki rumbles like an impending eruption.
Stanley of Rookie Libations dispenses some thoughts on degreed adults writing in Internet Retardonics.
Stevi is almost gentle with these folks. Almost.
Marleigh and Paul trash the poor product (in several meanings of that phrase) which chose to hire the people in question here.
The bad boys who inhabit the Scofflaw’s Den think the product itself is more stalker than liquor.
Darcy and Tiki Idol Tiare take a more measured tone. They give the folks in question that I’m not angry with you, I’m disappointed in you, routine that you really hated when you were a kid.

{My Hostage Journal, by RumDood}

Day Five. The Mount Gay is gone. All of it! I am left with the dregs of several bottles of the Bat-Beverage. My powers weaken, you can tell from my avatar. I have not looked so ill since my collection reached fifty rums!

…

I must have Demerara!

…

He is watching me constantly. I feel his eyes on me now.

When he isn’t looking, I pour Val-U-Rite into his Belvedere bottle.

…

It is later. I found a bottle of Ultimat Vodka. I filled it too with Val-U-Rite.

He has a lot of Vodka, the fiend!

Why am I here? Why won’t he let me go?

…

Ah ha! His offspring left their used waffle plates where I can reach them. There is a thick scum of Maple Syrup to use. I’ll use these packs of Splenda I have in my pocket….
The rats ate the old pineapple he left me, but the rind is here!
I fashion a crude still and cook over the bare lightbulb that provides my only illumination!
Voila! Demerara! I can last another day.

…

I hope.

Ta Da!

Follow the link. Your blog too may be a winner….

Oh, and then go vote for Jay at Oh Gosh! for Hidden Gem. Get your mom to vote too. If she won’t, well her computer’s just sitting there….

In one of those moments of sanity in Internet Polls, Jay, over at Oh Gosh! is a finalist for a 2008 Weblog award, in the Best Hidden Gem category.

If you haven’t read Jay’s blog… you should. Now.

If you do read Jay’s blog, you know he deserves this award. Go vote. Each day. While there is still time. Now.

Update-I’ve made this post sticky until the voting is over. Now obey your Pegu-Overlord and go vote for Jay. He’d do it for you. Unless your blog stank…..

I just wanted to say that Maggi and I have been married nineteen years today. Please lift a glass with me to more than nineteen more!

Merry Christmas, everyone!