The manliest beer bottle opener in the history of time. No really, guys, this dude makes girlies of us all. You too, Chuck Norris. (Video)

Beer’s most expensive ingredient. Weighing in at a whopping 45% of the retail price, the most expensive ingredient in beer is… Government!

Hey! You didn’t brew that!

Here’s another darned good reason to have Tiki Month: These are the top 10 selling beers in America….

I’ve been in a bit of a blogging funk of late, with all sorts of posts piled up in the draft folder and none ready to post. So I thought I’d put up this little palate-cleanser to make folks smile and perhaps be a bit of a slump-buster….

Beer ads have for a long time been sort of the pinnacle in advertising, booze or otherwise, of the Sex Sells meme. Whenever a latter day Don Draper comes up with a ridiculously over the top sexy idea, his agency just puts beers in the participants’ hands and pitches it to Budweiser or Miller. Every once in a while the result is pure, trashy genius. Most of the time, it is pretty much trashy hackery.

Of course, sometimes, Don’s descendants’ imaginations get a little carried away. The following Guinness advertisement is a case in point. Once conceived, it had to be made. But it was never gonna air. I should advise you that this is very likely not safe for work. (But if you are at work, is this or any other cocktail blog all that safe a site to be surfing in the first place?)

Frankly, I’m not sure where to categorize this one. It is definitely trashy, but it is also pretty clever in how it forces speculation on the part of the viewer. The mind is engaged on this. But I’m thinking it wouldn’t move that much Guinness, because while you are perhaps supposed to focus on the bottle and why it doesn’t fall over, that is not what most people are going to be furiously trying to work out in their heads. What do you think?

A tip of the hat to the the good folks at Cracked for this one. Their article has six other ads that similarly were way beyond the pale. I recommend the post, but for the love of God, do not play or even read about Number 5!

British Brewer Introduces a Beer Laced With… VIAGRA! Supposedly in honor of the Royal Wedding. I doubt Prince William will be amused by the label’s command, “Arise Prince Willy!”

If this really works, the beer world is about to change forever. Stadiums, concerts, theater, etc. beer concessions will never be the same.

OK, it’s beer, not real booze. Sue me.
Via Make:, we find Tuned Pale Ale. I have no idea is Tuned is a great ale. I don’t know if it tastes like pond water.
I. Don’t. Care.
The genius of Tuned is in the label. Look on the right edge and you will see a treble clef with little arrows pointing to a level of the beer within. Drink the ale down to that level, and the bottle will produce that note when you blow across the top. There are a lot of cool songs that you can play with six or fewer notes, ya know?
It’s like a Do-It-Yourself kit for awesomeness like this little performance below, only you don’t have to get as drunk as these guys to get your “instruments” set.

Now, in fact Tuned is more of a super prototype/concept design than a real product. Matt Braun, the creator, is a designer/artist (and DJ!(?)), and apparently a home brewer. He’s actually sold one batch of Tuned, and claims to have another set in production. Visit his site to sign up for your own six-pack. If you are in the beer business (or the liquor business for that matter) and like the idea, he’s also looking for someone with the cash to make this commercially viable. Let’s hope someone does.

Colt 45 neither cheapest nor fastest way to get drunk. Franzia wine in a box beats it like a rented mule.

I am always frustrated at how much better, more creative, and more funny beer ads are than liquor ads. Is it just budget? Or are spirits makers afraid to go a little gonzo for fear of blue-noses pitching a hissy?
Regardless, here is Heineken’s latest masterpiece of fun social commentary on men, women, and reality TV:

The workers at the Carlsberg beer company in Denmark have gone on strike… because the company has removed the coolers of beer which used to be scattered throughout the factory. And yes, the drivers are joining the strike, even though their three beer a day allowance has not been cut.