There really ought to be some rules to drinking, or more accurately, drinking well. Dredging through my old bookmarks, I found a post from Vidiot at Telescreen.org that makes for a good starting place. Follow the link to get the whole list, but I’ll put up a few here; some of which I really like, and a few I have a problem with.
Vidiot’s Grumpy, Snobbish, And Cantankerous Yet Iron-Clad Rules of Drinking:
1. It is absolutely not permitted to order a mixed drink when one doesn’t have the foggiest idea what it contains.
I totally agree with this. See this post for the Official Pegu Blog Pegu Recipe Card….
6. Pay no further attention to anyone who uses the phrase “bruise the gin.”
This is wisdom for the ages. Question: Do you want your cocktail Cold or Clear? It is very hard to get both, especially from a bartender who has ten more customers waiting for his or her time. In short: Cold–Shaken; Clear–Stirred.
10. A Martini contains gin and vermouth and sometimes bitters. It does not contain vodka, apples, or chocolate syrup. Those other drinks may be acceptable on occasion, but they are not Martinis.
Sorry, Vidiot. I’m writing an eccentric little blog about a 1920’s vintage, obscure cocktail, and even I know that time has passed you by on this one. Martinis are Gin, or Vodka, or even both. You do have an excellent point about Vermouth however, in rule 11….
12. The use of aromatic bitters in cocktails is heartily encouraged, and in some cases, absolutely required.
Without Bitters, there is no Pegu… Quod Erat Demonstratum.
Vidiot ends with rule 13, so in deference, I’ll add starting with 14:
14. Drink your cocktail while it is still cold, dammit! Of course, if you drink your liquor neat, we’ll just shut up now.
15. Doubles are for Drunks. Since you are going to drink your cocktail quickly (see rule 14), don’t make or order massive drinks! Unless you plan on losing the rest of the evening, that is….
16. Sweet drinks are for Chicks–Don’t be a Chick, especially if you are female! A cocktail is tart and/or potent, sugar can be a hint or accent only. Sickly sweet drinks are just that: Sickly.
Got more? Leave them in the comments.