Avast, ye scurvy knaves! It be International Talk Like a Pirate Day (ITLAPD). We here at Ye Olde Pegu Blog be taking a brief time out from the drinkin’ and carousin’ and….
Arrrrr! Who be we kiddin’, Mateys? ITLAP be meaning more drinkin’, more carousin’! Me beauty and I might be even breakin’ out into our own peg-legged version of the Hornpipe! The day be ripe for bloodshed and plunder! And if there be no booty to be found, then the night be ripe for boozeshed! We’ll be a piratin’. Our wee little lassies will be a piratin’ (scroll down, mateys). And if we be bringing a little charm an’ cocktalian refinement to the party, well that’ll be… absolutely accidental! Arrrr!
If ye not be knowin’ the blow-me-down on ITLAPD, well ye are bein’ a scurvy chumbucket! But there still be hope for ye! First, heave to and be watchin’ this wee instructional video. Then practice, practice, practice—or its down the bilge wi’ ye!
Got it? Beauty, Mate! Now, let’s be talkin’ about what we be drinkin’! Arrrr!
First of all, we be noddin’ our heads to the Pegu, of course. Why? Why Not, ye scurvy dog? Arrrr! Now shut yer hatch and be listening close. Pegus are perfect piratin’ swill because they be comin’ from an exotic land on the Indian Ocean, the pirate’s playground of yore! They are made with Gin, for all ye ex-Navy types who’ve joined our merry brotherhood! Ye be wantin’ to be keepin’ the one thing that made English sailorin’ worthwhile, Aye? Then there’s the Cointreau, with all its secret spices and rare fruits from tiny islands all over the Caribbean, the greatest pirate playground of em all!
But, most of all, lad, ye be needin’ to be drinkin’ Pegus because of the lime! Yer not be wantin’ to be losin’ those last four teeth to the Scurvy, are ye? Arrrrr! We were thinkin’ not.
Come on, matey! Ye be knowing that the current world’s greatest pirate be drinkin’ Pegus, and be drinkin’ ’em harrrrd before, during, and after every time ye be seein’ him! Yarrrr? Yarrrr.
If ye still be wonderin’ about the pirate’s life, and if it be bein’ for ye, well then me bucko, have I be havin’ the book for ye! Be placin’ yer mits on Pirattitude!: So you Wanna Be a Pirate?: Here’s How! from Ol’ Chumbucket and Cap’n Slappy. Ye’ll be piratin’ in no time!
And I be supposing that ye might not be wantin’ a Pegu on International Talk Like a Pirate Day. After all, piratin’ is being about freedom. And they can take away our pegs, hooks, and patches, but they can never be takin’ away our freedom! Or we’ll be sendin’ them to Davey Jones’s Locker. Arrrr.
So what else shall we be swillin’ as we belt out the sea chanteys?
Well, ye can try Paul’s Luau Grog, or if ye were already plunderin’ a copy of any of Beachbum Berry’s cocktail books, ye can open yer treasure chest of alchoholic booty and consult… The Grogalizer! Now a website like that one be desarvin’ of a Yarrr! Lemme be hearin’ ye say it: Yarrr!
But avast, mateys! There be more! Aye! Arrr! Yarrr! Set yer course back to the harbor of International Talk Like a Pirate Day one more time, and feast yer eye (Harrr!) on their impressive list of pirate potables!
I’ll be plunderin’ but one of the many fine drinks to found there (among many more that are soundin’ like chum and bilgewater in a blender!), the rest ye can read for yerselves, ye wharf rats!
Barbados Planter’s Punch
3 oz. Gold Rum
1 oz. Lime Juice (No Rose’s, ye lilly-livered lubbers!-ed.)
1/2 tsp. Superfine Sugar
Dash of Orange Bitters
Fill with Sparkling Water
Shake with cracked ice and pour into a chilled collins glass. Garnish with a slice of orange, a slice of banana, a maraschino cherry and sprinkle with nutmeg.
Of course, no real pirate would be bein’ caught dead with a garnish like that on his mug! Hack a chunk of pinapple off with yer knife and leave it at that.