As you can tell by my posting frequency lately, I’m in a bit of a blogging fugue. I’ve got stuff to write about, but haven’t put much together lately. I think I’ve got the next set of posts lined up and ready to finish if my Suddenly Summer Schedule ever lets me get back in my bar again!
That said, I thought I’d just throw out this weirdness I got from Jacob Grier.
It is from a site called Yankee Pot Roast, and it is a collection entitled: Online Reviews of Really Confusing’s, Neighborhood Bar and Grill. The collection is (thankfully) labeled as fiction.
Here are my favorites, but please read them all.
“The only thing I remember is that the appetizer list was literally terrifying.”
“Why is everybody so down on this place? I left Really Confusing’s with 1) more money than I came in with and 2) a working knowledge of copyright law. I have no idea how that happened, but, hey, looks like it’s not such a bad place after all.”
“We just wanted to take Grandma Susan out for her birthday. As it turned out, Verducci’s, the Italian restaurant we had planned on visiting, was closed. So we were just cruising around the Pine Hills Center parking lot when we saw this new place, Really Confusing’s, off in the corner of the lot. Thinking that was sort of a whimsical name for a restaurant, we thought Really Confusing’s might be a fun place for the family to celebrate Gran-Gran’s eightieth. Good Christ, we were wrong.”
There appears to be no comments section, so I’ll add my own capsule online review for Really Confusing’s here. I’m happy to provide comment space to you, should you, you know, be confused as well….
“The bartender had no face and enormous breasts. He served me a Martini that was green and tasted exactly the way a Strawberry Margarita does not.”