Age Verification… For the Win

Age Verification… For the Win

OK, regular readers will know that I think that the US national drinking age is too high, Constitutionally unsound, morally indefensible, and massively counter-productive. And I think that the way we tend to introduce our children to alcohol is also either totally irresponsible (“Eh, they’ll figure it out.”), or totally irresponsible (Draconian devotion to dryness until twenty one, then, “Eh, they’ll figure it out.”).

But I do believe that society is right have a certain age before which you may not legally choose to drink alcohol on your own recognizance. The subject of this post is one of the most ridiculous ways that drinking age restrictions manifest: The age verification screen on commercial websites for booze producers.

Surely this will stop the legions of underage drinkers in constant search of $50 rum!

Come on.
These screens are a colossal waste of time and bandwidth that we desperately need for Netflix downloads. Anyone can enter any date they want.
I tried it. April 1, 1905.
“Sorry, you don’t look that old!” it said. Not. (As long as you don’t try to claim you personally met President McKinley, you’re in.)

You might as well have this conversation:

So, scary-looking dude with the prison tats, you want to buy this gun, huh?
First, I have to ask, Are you a felon?

Why no, ma’am! I am not a felon!
And if that snitch Vinny says I am, he’s a liar… and a pretty unhealthy one soon.

Good enough for the law!
Here’s your gun… And a voter registration form.
And have a beer while we are at it.
Um, you are 21, right?

If you are going to actually bother to try to prevent underage persons from visiting booze manufacturer’s websites, try to make the protection real.

Like this (from FunnyJunk, via Gizmodo):

Why, yes.
Yes, that was along way to go for someone else’s joke.
Why do you ask?

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