Great Moments in Booze Ads That Never Saw Air

Great Moments in Booze Ads That Never Saw Air

I’ve been in a bit of a blogging funk of late, with all sorts of posts piled up in the draft folder and none ready to post. So I thought I’d put up this little palate-cleanser to make folks smile and perhaps be a bit of a slump-buster….

Beer ads have for a long time been sort of the pinnacle in advertising, booze or otherwise, of the Sex Sells meme. Whenever a latter day Don Draper comes up with a ridiculously over the top sexy idea, his agency just puts beers in the participants’ hands and pitches it to Budweiser or Miller. Every once in a while the result is pure, trashy genius. Most of the time, it is pretty much trashy hackery.

Of course, sometimes, Don’s descendants’ imaginations get a little carried away. The following Guinness advertisement is a case in point. Once conceived, it had to be made. But it was never gonna air. I should advise you that this is very likely not safe for work. (But if you are at work, is this or any other cocktail blog all that safe a site to be surfing in the first place?)

Frankly, I’m not sure where to categorize this one. It is definitely trashy, but it is also pretty clever in how it forces speculation on the part of the viewer. The mind is engaged on this. But I’m thinking it wouldn’t move that much Guinness, because while you are perhaps supposed to focus on the bottle and why it doesn’t fall over, that is not what most people are going to be furiously trying to work out in their heads. What do you think?

A tip of the hat to the the good folks at Cracked for this one. Their article has six other ads that similarly were way beyond the pale. I recommend the post, but for the love of God, do not play or even read about Number 5!


  1. Jordan

    27 September

    I think the worst beer ad I’ve ever seen was one with a picture of two blond twins that simply read “Here’s to twins” placed next to the Coors logo.

    And at least to me, the point of the Miller Lite commercial seems to be that if you’re a prurient idiot, women won’t find you very appealing. Not sure if that’s a great sell.

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  2. Doug

    28 September

    To me, the Coors “Twins” campaign was less trashy than just mailing it in.

      (Quote)  (Reply)

  3. Dagreb

    30 September

    Doug’s not kidding about #5!

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  4. Colleen

    26 October

    I should have listened to you about number 5- it took me two days to get out of the shower, and I still don’t feel clean enough. When will they make Soft Scrub for the mind and soul? With bleach, please?

      (Quote)  (Reply)

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