Safety In Paradise

OK, I hesitate to claim that Air New Zealand is “in” for Tiki Month, as I was legitimately able to do with Frankie’s Tiki Room, but I’m gonna suggest it. They posted this, their new cabin safety video, in February after all! And it shows some of the most beautiful tropical island scenery of the Cook Islands I’ve seen, so I want to post it.

Tropical island scenery?
There are islands in this video?
Can’t say as how I noticed.
That said, I will grant that the scenery is pretty awesome.

What are you on about? There are the fabulous Cook Islands. There are flower leis. There are… Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover models… OK. I get your point.

Come on. I gotta shoehorn in some Rule 5 at some point in every Tiki Month. After all, as I have chronicled heretofore, Tiki is about (among other things) guilt-free sex!

And to my female readership, don’t worry. Air New Zealand is an equal opportunity outfit. There is a special guest appearance (they have special guest appearances in airline safety videos now?) by Christie Brinkley, who in addition to being quite the Mikana Añejo herself, seems to be there to remind everyone that Los Angeles is the Air New Zealand destination with the hottest pool boys.

I must say that it is interesting the way that Air New Zealand is turning the safety talk into a revenue opportunity. But celebrating the 50th Anniversary of the Swimsuit Edition immediately after the prior celebration is kind of a jarring change in the amount of hair. Good to see they both manage to make the life vest inflation segment into a dirty joke. Bear Grylls (thank God) didn’t get that memo in his version….

Just because I feel I need to justify just a little bit more that this post belongs in Tiki Month, here are the cover models from the video, in the most Tiki-approprite attire from each of their photoshoots.

Chrissy Teigen
Chrissy Teigen, one of the trio who make the cover this year, and whom you should follow on Twitter

Jessica Gomes
Jessica Gomes, who likes to fish

Hannah Davis
Hannah Davis, who has a pool boy thing of her own…

Ariel Merideth
Ariel Meredith, um, let’s just pretend that is Bali Hai and not the Matterhorn in the background, m’kay?

Lily Aldridge
I include Miss Teigen’s fellow cover model, Lily Aldridge, even though she isn’t in the video, just because she manages to out-Tiki Chrissy…

Christie Brinkley
Christie Brinkley, who is totally not Tiki here, but who cares…

Christie Brinkley and her pool boy
…and her pool boy.


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