Avast there, ye swabs and lubbers alike! It be impart’nt to remember that terday be International Talk Like a Pirate Day! It be silly. It be fun. It be a day fer drinkin’ lots o’ rum!
Leave yer gin and yer whiskies ashore today, Mateys, the vodka and tequilarrr as well. Today’s imbibin’ must be rum… or the lash!
Now, ye can be swilling yer rum w’ all manner o’ side parties. Cap’n Morgan, who be workin’ harder each year to board the good ship ITLAPD, this year wants ye to be drinkin’ Cap’n and Colarrr!
Of course, yer true sea dog, by the end o’ the festivities at least, when the wenches be all auctioned off, the port burnt to cinders, and the loot buried, will just swill his rum straight. But make sure it be the good stuff, or the crew will keelhaul ye!
Belay that, ye scurvy knave! Wi’ pirates, it be always scurvy!